Start looking for a date that will work for everyone in January.
In February, when only one person has gotten back to you about summer dates, send 143 emails and phone messages to pin down the rest of the family.
In March, just give up on some of these people ever getting back to you and go ahead and set a date.
Tell everyone the dates and location and give them 24 hours to respond before the site gets booked and paid for.
Now they will all get back to you.
Make another 487 phone calls and discover that your family is just way too busy for this to ever work.
Pick a date anyway.
Be prepared to hear a lot of moaning and complaining about this not being a convenient time. Ignore it and move to step 2.
Step 2: Pick a location
Camping sounds fun...fresh air, beautiful surroundings, communing with nature....$9 a person.
Internet search for group sites and choose one that will accomodate 23 people, 7 cars, is less than 30 minutes away from modern conveniences, has plumbed bathrooms, a firepit and is breath-takingly beautiful.
Do this all site unseen and cross your fingers that what looks good online looks good in person.
Phew!!
Step 3: Make assignments
Assign each family 1 meal and 1 activity. Be prepared for more complaining about convenience. Just smile and hold firm.
The food will be wonderful. Every family will pull out all the stops, and you will eat until you are sick. And as an added bonus, on your night for cooking your brother turns out to be a "foil dinner" control freak and will take over all of the work to make sure it gets done "right." Sit back, relax and eat up.
Step 4: Gather the family
If they're all gathering at your house...here's a piece of advice. Don't waste your time cleaning up before they get there.
Step 5: Pack
Set aside at least 12 hours for this step. Pack and load everything it might be conceivable you will need. After 12 hours, discover you need at least 3 more. Give up and just throw everything in the back of somebody's vehicle. Get up to camp and discover 14 things you forgot. Congratulate yourself for choosing a site only 10 miles from home.
Step 6: Set up Camp
2 schools of thought on this:
Method 1-Work together as a family...discover you may have too many chiefs and not enough Indians...after a little dysfunctional fun, manage to get a tent up and sleeping bags unrolled.
Method 2-Help unload all the gear to the site, put one person in charge, send everyone else on a hike.
Step 7: Social Director
Discover that everyone expects you to have every minute of this trip planned.
Go for hikes. (Drag your 60-year-old father up the side of a mountain to view a hidden alpine lake)
Plan easier hikes for the younger set. Drag them up a series of switchbacks to see another hidden alpine lake.
Prepare some campfire activities.
Set up crafts for the restless natives.
Bring lots of games and firewood. Lay in a supply of not-too-scary ghost stories.Have a wonderful time! Come home and spend 3 weeks unearthing your demolished home and digging out from a mountain of laundry. Vow that next time someone else will be in charge.
