Independence Day

I have never been a mother who craves needy, mommy-reliant children. I love, love, love infants with their downy heads and smells. I always loved that moment in each of my four babies' lives when I came to their cribs in the middle of the night and they recognized ME with a look of pure and trusting adoration. I even found it amusing in late baby months when they would all go through that stage where everyone but Mommy is a bad guy...even Daddy.

But! I have always been a great believer in the cutting of apron strings. From toddler-hood I have always tried to expect and teach my toddling protege the things that chubby hands and legs can do for themselves. I have designed chore charts and study schedules and cooking lessons. I expect everyone in my house from 1st grade up to make their own lunch, school-day or no.

And yet! As I am embarking on teenage full throttle, it seems their dependence on me is increasing instead of waning. Some days I feel crushed by the weight of expectancy. No one can seem to get ready for school in the morning without incessant reminding. Homework, chores, and piano practicing seem every day to be a novel and unexpected suggestion. Minutes ago, our carpool showed up to taxi the younger two to school and had to wait for Anna whom I discovered in her room just pulling on pants after being sent up to get dressed 25 minutes ago. She wears a uniform...getting dressed for her means: open bottom drawer, pull out navy skirt or pants and white shirt! If something is lost, it's my responsibility to find it. If they get to school without their lunch/homework/coat I can depend on an urgent and demanding phone call.

Now keep in mind that I am no helicopter parent! Nine times out of ten, when I get that emergency phone call, my response is: "That's too bad, I guess you're going to have to stay in at recess today...or turn it in late...or beg your friends to share their lunches with you."

I think I always imagined that once I got past the baby/toddler stage, things would run more smoothly, effectively, efficiently. I would say, "Go upstairs and brush and floss your teeth," and magically, ten minutes later-mission accomplished! Despite my expectation, instruction, and nagging, I have managed to turn out four exceptionally needy human beings. And for some reason, in the past several weeks, this has become an eat-me-alive kind of problem.

So I was pouring my heart out today in prayer when I suddenly realized the irony of my words. Because how could I expect to turn to a parent to assist me with my needs when I resented the petitions my children are consistently directing to me? I think tomorrow, I need to dig deep for a well of patience and gentleness and truly make the effort to enjoy the un-snipped apron strings for a little longer.

Hotel Talbot

I haven't journaled anything in a long time, but I have something of an excuse...this week will mark the 8th weekend in a row when we either have had family staying with us here or we have gone out of town.

Week 1: Carrie-anne, Ryan and their kids joined us for the weekend while their kids were off on Spring Break. I pulled my younger kids out of school one day to spend a morning at the Tracy Aviary and Liberty Park. It was a good time but oh so cold! This year has been the year of no spring. We had a nice dinner out at The Cheesecake Factory...just grown-ups...to belatedly celebrate Ryan's birthday.

Week 2: Grandma Talbot bunked with Anna for a couple of nights while she finalized the cleaning and closing of their once home in Sandy. It was the end of an era as the house Cory lived in his entire childhood and youth was sold!

Week 3: Double the Grandparents! My parents and Cory's parents both spent a weekend with us in order to attend Mission Reunions. My folks were able to extend their stay through Wednesday which was fun until I came down with strep throat. Probably had something to do with the late nights and delicious but less than nutritious food we ate all weekend.

Week 4: The day after my parents left, Larissa, Nathan and their 5 kiddos stopped for the last two nights of their week-long Utah excursion. It was great to see them, but they got the back end of my illness and had to work around an 11-year-old scout campout in the back yard.

Week 5: Another brief appearance of Grandma and Grandpa Talbot as they dropped in up north for a wedding.

Week 6: Our Spring Break coincided with my sister's sealing in the Reno Temple so I courageously packed the kids to my parent's house where we met up with Karla and her foursome as well. It was a mixture of chaos and meaningful memories. We went to Boomtown, hung out and TALKED, and had a beautiful day in the temple. My mom kindly housed 8 children and their mothers and the dads joined us at the end of the week. The only major disasters were a teenage, end-of-week meltdown, and an expired temple recommend.

Week 7: All the sisters-in-law and the mother-in-law came north for a "sisters weekend." Carrie-anne ended up bringing her family along as well. The kids and dads played while all the girls enjoyed a much needed respite from responsibility. We watched "Sheer Luck Holmes" at Desert Star playhouse, went shopping, checked out Kim's new pad, went out to dinner, shopped some more, and caught a late movie. It was wonderful even though my mom hours kicked in just as the movie was beginning. I'm not a kid anymore it turns out.

Week 8: Ma and Pa Talbot have more wedding weekend plans coming up, so we will look forward to seeing them this weekend. After that? As much fun as it has been, I think I might just hang a "No Vacancy" sign for a little while.