Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Then Sings My Soul

I'm back but I make no promises to stay on top of the blog.  I found myself
busy and stressed and began avoiding not only writing in my own blog but 
avoiding reading anyone's blog.  There was too much guilt associated with it 
so I took a step back and decided to come back to it when it didn't cause a 
wrenching sensation in my stomach.

Earlier this spring a friend of mine sent me an email about auditions for a 
choir she is part of led by Barlow Bradford--The Utah Chamber Artists.  She 
has talked to me about this choir before and although it sounded great I never
felt like I was in a place to take on a commitment like an audition choir.  
However, having been released as YW President I decided that I might now 
have the time to try it out.  I got audition information and emailed the choir 
president to set up a time.

I then spent a few weeks pulling out my old classical repertoire and choosing 
and rehearsing a piece.  It was wonderful to sing in Italian again! 

My audition date came quickly and I found myself driving to Kaysville on a 
Monday afternoon, arriving way too early in my worry to avoid rush hour 
traffic.  The audition was in the home of Barlow Bradford...the former 
associate director for The Mormon Tabernacle Choir...check out any MoTab 
CD's you own and odds are you will find some Barlow Bradford 
arrangements.  I came in and met him and the choir president and filled out 
a choir experience resume.  Resume?!  This was intimidating since really the 
only choir experience I have had since high school are in ward choirs, stake 
choirs, and other special church choirs.  To up the intimidation factor, the 
two men chatted about the vintage organ one of them is restoring in his 
home.

Then it was time to sing.  I handed my music to Barlow who can sight read 
anything perfectly and started to sing.  Or tried to...I actually started out 
sounding more like an adolescent boy screeching into his changing voice.  
I stopped and asked to begin again.  This time it went better but I was still a 
bundle of nerves and felt sure the first impression had done me in.  Barlow 
was kind in a "don't call us we'll call you" kind of way.  He had me do a few 
vocal exercises, asked me to give him a little more volume on one section of 
the song again, and overall was nice but non-committal.  He complimented 
my pitch, tone, and musicality but made it clear that my talent was raw and 
undeveloped.  He did not have me sight-read anything as I had been told I 
would be asked to do as part of the audition.  I got it...why waste anymore of 
his time when he had other people waiting to audition...singers with vast
experience and probably a resume complete with head shot.   I thanked him, 
walked out and drove the hour back to Draper. 

Overall I decided it had been a positive experience.  It had been a joy to sing 
"secular" music again and had been a life experience that was valuable.  It 
was intimidating but also incredible to meet a musician I have admired for 
years.  It made me decide that I should look into other community choirs in 
the area with more amateur needs.  It really was great to sing again.

Weeks passed and I forgot about my audition...it had been self-evident as I 
walked away that I had not made it.  And then I was sitting in church in 
southern Utah with my in-laws waiting for Sacrament Meeting to start.  I was 
expecting an email about Youth Conference details I was planning so pulled 
out my inbox and discovered an email from a name I did not recognize.   I 
opened it and was stunned to discover it was from Jared Gunnerson, UCA 
choir president inviting me to join the Utah Chamber Artists when they began 
rehearsing again in August!  I was so shocked I said out loud "I made it into 
that choir!"  Anna has always been very empathetic and something about how 
or what I said made her jump up out of her seat, run over and give me an 
excited hug.  

After a busy and wonderful summer, I found myself at my first rehearsal at 
the University of Utah sitting in a real recital hall once again.  It was 
overwhelming and stunning to sight sing through a challenging repertoire of 
fall recital music with 39 other talented musicians.  We didn't spend one 
second of rehearsal time playing parts or talking about vowel sounds...we 
worked on expression and color and making music.  The 3 hour rehearsal 
sped by too quickly and invigorated me.  Every song was my favorite.  I felt 
so honored and blessed to be in that alto section.

The way rehearsals work for this choir fits into my life so well.  We have 4 
concerts a year so we rehearse twice a week (Sunday nights and Thursday 
nights) for about a month until each concert.  Then we take a month off.  
There is a nice long summer vacation as well.  It is perfect for me and makes 
it possible to feel like I'm doing something remarkable for myself without 
burdening my family too much.   In addition to our planned concert in 
September, we were invited to do an hour long live concert on KBYU radio  
that was broadcast nationally.  Very cool to listen to yourself on the radio!  
And most exciting of all, the choir is preparing to go on tour to Germany, 
Austria, and Czech Republic in June 2014!  Cory has already committed to 
come with me and we have started making payments for travel expenses.  
We will be able to sing music in Europe in some of the very places it 
was composed.

Our first concert was 2 weeks ago.  We performed at the Cathedral of the 
Madeleine in downtown Salt Lake.  The venue is stunning in its own right.  
The stained glass, sculpture and art are spectacular.  The acoustics of the 
vaulted ceilings are astounding. The guest musicians were "The Fry String 
Quartet"--an Internationally acclaimed group.  As part of the concert, each 
piece is performed in a different part of the cathedral.  There is a lighting 
designer who essentially "choreographs"lighting to enhance the music.  
There is no applause until the very end of each half so the music moves 
seamlessly along.  You never know where the next sounds will come from.  
As choir members we had to wear slippers to make our movement around 
the building silent.  We sang around the font, on the front marble, behind 
the bishop's screen, around the piano and the corner pews.  There was in 
addition to our songs and the quartet, a full string orchestra, a harp and 
flute duet, and a solo vocalist.  The theme of the concert was "Light and 
Shadow" and the selections reflected the lighter and darker sides of music.  
I found myself almost moved to tears as I could see my own awe reflected 
on the faces of the audience.  Even my children loved it...an hour and a half 
of sublime music.  When we finished I felt a sense of regret that I had never 
known about this annual concert.  I would have come to listen every year we
 have lived here if I had only known.

I still feel a little out of my league as I look forward to my month off.  I 
assure you I don't say that lightly or in any way to be self-effacing.  To be 
among singers of this caliber is humbling to say the least.  Although our time 
off  is definitely a needed break, at the same time I will be missing my weekly
lift.  I can't wait to be in the choir seats again.

Our final song was an arrangement done by Barlow Bradford, "For the Music 
of Creation."  It is sung to the same tune as "Come Thou Fount of Every 
Blessing" but with a different text that Barlow discovered.  It's a testimony
and prayer of gratitude for the gift of music.

For the music of creation,
For the song your Spirit sings,
For your sound's divine expression,
Burst of joy in living things:
God, our God, the world's composer,
Hear us echoes of Thy voice.
Music is your art, your glory;
Let the human heart rejoice!
 
Psalms and symphonies exalt you,
drum and trumpet, string and reed.
Simple melodies acclaim you,
tunes that rise from deepest need,
hymns of longing and belonging,
carols from a cheerful throat,
lilt of lullaby and love song
catching heaven in a note.
 
All the voices of the ages
in transcendent chorus meet,
worship lifting up the senses,
hands that praise and dancing feet;
over discord and division
music speaks your joy and peace,
harmony of earth and heaven,
song of God that cannot cease!
      Shirley Erena Murry