Birthday and Baptism

This week I am having hardwood floors installed in the living room and dining room on the main floor. This means that every day this week, I have to be out of my house from about 8 in the morning until dinner-time. It also means that most of the furniture on the main floor is now crammed into the family room. With the exception of my grand piano. Which is upright in the office about 18 inches from where I sit typing. Basically I'm living out of my car for a week. Seriously...if you could see my car right now you would likely exclaim, "Sheesh! It looks like someone's living in here!" Anna and Isaac suggested this afternoon that we install a refrigerator and a washer and dryer. "Because," as they reasoned with impeccable logic, "we already have a TV." (All they ask for in life is food, clean clothes, and mindless entertainment...oh...and drive-through dinners.) In a word, our home life at the moment is chaos.

In addition to this, our family is suffering a personal tragedy at the moment. I will post about this soon, but today's post is about something more important. So, even though I clearly should be using the precious hours I have in my actual house to do something like...laundry...or T.V. viewing, I am taking the time to write about this past weekend of events.


Isaac turned 8 on Saturday, and by coincidence, our Stake Baptism day fell on the same day! So, just like his brother Noah, he got to have his birthday and baptism together.

Lots of wonderful people came to share the special day with us. Grandma and Grandpa Frey drove out from Sparks on Friday even though they had to turn right around and drive home on Sunday. Aunt Carrie-anne and Uncle Ryan and their kids Emily, Jacob, and Joshua drove up from Toquerville; Aunt Callee and Uncle Jeff came from St. George with Max, Sam, and McKinley; my cousin Gretchen and her husband Ryan drove up from Orem with their 6 kids; and Aunt Kim drove over all the way from Sandy...okay 7 miles, but we were grateful just the same. He was baptized at 9 a.m. by his dad, and in addition to the family who came, two families from our ward were there as well. The Cleggs--our home teacher--and the Prices.

After the baptism, we drove down the hill to our ward building and had a fun brunch. The kids ran around to their hearts' content while moms and dads chatted and caught up, and we all ate a lot of muffins!

After the brunch, Mom and Dad took Isaac to pick out his birthday present...a NEW BIKE! He had asked weeks before so sweetly if he could ever have his very own bike instead of a hand-me down. In the afternoon, our family and most of the cousins watched "Planet 51," per the birthday boy's request, at the dollar theater. This was followed by "make your own pizza" night at home (18 different personal pizzas, yikes!) and cake and ice cream.

It was a wonderful weekend and a special day. There is always a special spirit at baptisms. Even when there are a lot of noisy cousins and siblings around.

Isaac confided in me before he went to bed on his eventful day the following:

"I actually got baptized when I was 7, because I was born at 9:30 at night so I won't turn 8 until tonight!"

He is such a dear, cheerful, sweet little boy!

Four Eyes

In January, I got a letter from the elementary school informing me that Anna had failed her Kindergarten vision screening. I was completely surprised so I asked Anna about it. She casually replied that, "I can see out of this eye," (pointing to her right eye) "but not out of this eye." (pointing to her left eye). So I did my own little eye test right there which consisted of 15 different permutations of the question, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

After extensive and exhaustive research I came to the following conclusion. She can see fine out of her right eye but not so much out of her left.

Cory was harder to convince. He somehow doubted my optometric methods. So at dinner that night, he conducted his own version of the "How many fingers am I holding up?" diagnostic. To his own surprise, he confirmed my earlier findings.

So the next morning, I looked up a pediatric opthamologist through my health insurance provider list. There were 8 names...5 of them had the same number listed. I called them first. The number had been disconnected. The second number I called told me they don't work with pediatric patients. The third number had a recorded voice message telling me to call back during normal business hours. I was calling at 10:15 in the morning, so I'm not sure what that means exactly. Finally the last number I reached told me that they do in fact take pediatric patients, but that the number I had dialed was their business office so they couldn't set up an appointment. Maybe our current administration is on to something with this health care reform agenda.

Luckily, the last office redirected my call to someone who could actually help me. The soonest they could schedule an appointment was six weeks later. So I took the appointment and moved on with my life or at least my morning.

I didn't think about it again until 5 weeks and 6 days later when I got the reminder call. So on a Monday afternoon, I trekked to downtown Salt Lake City and spent 20 minutes driving around the Primary Children's Hospital parking structure looking for an empty spot. Finally, I called the office to say I was going to be late or possibly a no-show because there was never going to be an empty spot in that parking garage ever again. They told me an alternative place to park. Finally I walked into the office 65 minutes after I had left home and 5 minutes after my 1:30 appointment time.

Cory called and told me he was going to come meet us for her appointment. I told him I had managed to do 347,210 doctor office visits on my own in my career as Mom so he didn't need to worry about it, but he insisted. And then I remembered Anna's role as "Baby Princess Only Girl."

In the office we waited with one other patient. We got called back to one room where a technician ran a number of vision tests. We went back to the lobby and waited a little longer. Now there were half a dozen patients. A nurse called us back to another room and ran a number of vision tests. We went back to the lobby and waited even longer with about 10 other patients. An intern called us back to a room, ran a number of vision tests and dilated Anna's eyes. We went back to the lobby and waited...a really long time with every last pediatric opthamology patient in the state of Utah. I was obviously not going to make it back to the elementary school in time to pick up the car pool at 3:10, so I made a phone call to a friend to see if she could get the kids for me. Then we waited some more. Finally, we went into yet another exam room where now the doctor ran a number of vision tests.

To make a long story long...the findings? Amblyopia, or lazy eye. Basically she can see out of her right eye but her vision in her left eye is 20/600. So 2 1/2 hours into our appointment we got a prescription for glasses and a request to come back for another exam in May. Good times.

In my heart of hearts I feel a little sad about getting glasses for my 5-year-old. I have always thought she has such beautiful blue eyes and now they are obscured by mismatched lenses, making one eye appear abnormally large. I know it's good that we caught this early and that eventually it will either begin to correct itself, or she will get old enough to wear contacts, but the feminine and vain part of me wishes my only daughter didn't have to take on this particular accessory.

Anna, on the other hand, loves it. She had to wait a week for her glasses to come in, and wore me out with the question, "when are my glasses going to be done...I'm tired of waiting?" The first day she wore them to school she came home and said she "got too much new friends because I have glasses." I thought once the novelty wore off, it would be hard to keep her in them, but it's been 3 weeks now and she wears them from the moment she gets up until I make her put them away and go to bed at night.

She still looks pretty cute.

Math Counts

The Olympics are over so I can return to my life. I have been woefully absent from my blog this year. The whole reason I started this was to motivate myself into journaling on a regular basis, and keep my extended family involved and up-to-date in my life. Then my life got in the way of my ambition.

I am re-committing to my effort...and I have many things that really need to find their way into my "memoirs." But since I only have 12 minutes before I have to pick up my daughter from school, I'll start small.

To say that my oldest child is good at math does not quite define the scope of his natural ability. So I have a couple of anecdotes to illustrate his innate understanding. (Look out...here comes the obnoxious mom side of my blog.) 1-When Zachary was 5 years old, we were driving around in the minivan running errands and to distract him, we started playing the "doubling game." We started with the number 1 which doubled to 2 which doubled to 4 and so on. He didn't stop at 32 or 64...he got into the millions...in his head...his 5-year-old head. 2-Around this same age he began his obsession with professional sports. Cory was watching March Madness one Saturday, Zachary came in, planted himself on the floor, looked at the screen and casually announced, "Duke's up by 17 huh?" We discovered that in any basketball game, he could seemingly instantly tell you the point spread. 3-His 1st grade teacher called me one day to say that Zachary had "figured out" multiplication on his own. Not in the sense that he had started memorizing multiplication tables, but in the sense that he sat down and described an array to her. She challenged him with a few multiplication facts and said his answers were instantaneous...almost as if he could "see" the solution in his head. 4-Last year when we tested him for the magnet junior high, he missed 1 question on the math section. This is the test they give to kids 2 grade levels ahead of him.

When we decided to send him to that school, one of the defining elements of our decision was a homeroom called "Math Counts." It's a math competition program akin to debate or athletic olympics. It combines his love of math and his hyper-competitive nature...a perfect alchemy!

In January, he attended the District Competition...competing against 7th and 8th graders from 16 junior high schools. In typical Zachary style, he never even mentioned it to us. He just walked in from school that afternoon holding the 5th place trophy. The top 10 go to Chapter competition.

Chapter fell on a Saturday in February. Cory took him to the event and was taken aboard to help score tests. They take a preliminary test, and the top 10 students move on to a head to head competition. Cory texted me in the middle of his grading to tell me that the questions were brutal...he thought he could probably figure out 1 out of 5. There were 45 questions...the highest score he saw all day was 10. Zachary got 21. With no outside help or practice, he finished 8th. I came to watch the head to head and my brain is still reeling. I got 0 answers sitting in the audience and half the time, kids were ringing in on the buzzer before I finished reading the question. Top 10 go to state. Zachary couldn't be more excited!

Then, the Monday after the competition, Zachary came home visibly upset. State competition is the exact same time as his little brother's baptism. He won't be going to State this year. It was one of those times when as a mother, I could literally feel my heart break for my child. I consoled him as best as I could, but I know he is still disappointed. I hope that this experience with disappointment will help him in some way. I hope that he won't resent his younger brother. I hope this will help him to understand the value of family and the priority we put on that in our home. But mostly I really, really hope that he makes it to State next year. I don't think either one of us could handle a second heartbreak.

34.

Today is my birthday. When I was a kid this day seemed way more exciting than it does now. Grown-up birthdays turn out to be pretty much like every other grown-up day.

Admittedly, the number 34 seems impossible to me...didn't I just hit 30 last year? I've come to terms with the fact that I am no longer a young mom with small children. But truly, honestly, I sometimes still think I'm in my 20s.

When I was at Costco with my 2 youngest children, a young man in his early twenties stopped me to say, "Hey, I know you're married and I'm not hitting on you or anything, but I just wanted to tell you that you're a really pretty mom." As if being a mom and being pretty were mutually exclusive. Or as if he meant...you're pretty...for a mom. I chuckled at the time because his whole manner was like he was talking to his grandma or something. But it made me realize that even if I still perceive myself as a young woman, the outside world definitely does not.

Sure there have been some clues that I'm aging. What used to be just one gray hair has recruited a lot of friends. I can no longer deny the lines on my forehead...and yet I still get pimples! It doesn't seem fair to have wrinkles and zits at the same time. And the word "sag" around here is not in reference to the "Screen Actors Guild."

Physically, I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I run three times a week, and I do moderate weight training at the gym. I even got a mountain bike for my birthday so I can head up the nearby trails when the snow melts. But I have to admit that my body doesn't bounce back from things like it used to. In the past two years I have gone through an increasing number of annoying injuries...sprained ankle, IT-band pain, trochanteric bursitis, and acute back strain. Just little reminders that my muscles and joints are not as elastic and resilient as they once were.

But despite a new healthy acknowledgment of mortality, I wouldn't go back a decade. I am more capable and competent than I used to be. I have learned to take things in stride more. I have a greater understanding of my faults and failings, but a better appreciation of my strengths. I have fewer friendships than when I was young, but such a greater depth to the relationships I do have. I feel more confident as a mother than I did 10 years ago. I have drawn closer to my husband in this thirty-something phase of life. How I adore that man! Even when he makes me crazy.

Today I treated myself to lunch for my birthday...I brought a book, ate a delicious salad and just relaxed by myself in a restaurant. Not that long ago I would have considered this as fairly pathetic. But now I know how to enjoy the rare times when I can be by myself.

As I was driving home, I couldn't help smiling to myself. I guess I just realized something really great on today, my 34th birthday.

I am happy.

p.s. My sister is potentially having a baby girl today..could there be a better present than a new niece? And shouldn't I get to be her favorite aunt by default?

Make a U-Turn If Possible

So I have a special friend I take with me everywhere I go. She isn't the best listener, but she tells it like it is no matter what. It's refreshing to have someone in your life who is brutally honest. And although sometimes her counsel sends me in unexpected directions, I trust her advice explicitly.

She is the voice of my GPS. Or as I call her...Gerty.

I don't know how I ever lived without her. And since my husband has been out of town for 5 weeks, I've had a lot of extra quality time with her. I have found myself pondering the inherent symbolism of my utter dependence on an electronic gadget. I have decided that really Gerty has many life lessons to share with me.

I will be the first to confess that sometimes the routes Gerty maps are not the most direct. Maybe I take the long way now and then...but ultimately I always arrive at the desired destination. I had a life-map all planned out by the time I got to college too...and guess what? Not everything worked out according to my plan. Unbelievable, no? However, I look around at where I am in life right now and realize that maybe I just took the scenic route to get here.

Until 3 weeks ago, Gerty had never once let me down. So I was surprised when running an errand to our new School District building, Gerty directed me to take a right on a seedy looking alley. My instincts were that this was some kind of mistake, so I kept going for another block and discovered a dead end. Turning around, I decided to risk the narrow alley. A hundred yards in, I hit another dead end. I could see through a barbed wire fence the main road that the GPS was leading me too, but due to the construction of some new city buildings, there was now no longer an outlet from the narrow street I was on. So after a quick, 17 point turn, I backed out and turned south to find a street that would get me were I was heading. At first I felt enormously let down by my navigator, but after a while I realized this was analagous to real life as well. There are times in our lives for all of us when we're driving along smoothly and an unexpected road-block appears in our path. Sometimes we have to find another way to travel for a while. Maybe we'll have to go in the wrong direction for a minute...or at slower speeds, but eventually we can find our way back to the main road.

When we go on long trips, Gerty sometimes says things like, "Stay on the road..for..over... 300 miles." It's like the days of relative calm in my life...sometimes the routine might seem monotonous, but those times represent a chance to catch my breath and savor the little things. I hit one of these long stretches when I was in the baby-stage...changing diapers, late-night feedings, filling many physical needs. Now I find myself on an entirely new stretch, full of more twists and turns and I look back to those monotonous days with a different admiration.

My kids' favorite thing to hear from the GPS is "Make a U-turn if possible." I'm not sure why, but they get a huge kick out of this...probably because it means Mom blew it and made a mistake. But again, in my analogy, there are choices and options I have taken in my life that have led me in the exact opposite direction I wanted to be heading. The only thing to do at those times is to make that U-turn and find your way back.

And sometimes Gerty says, "Take the second left turn."

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

As Time Goes By

My baby is blooming in Kindergarten.
She is reading, writing, and "rithmetic-ing" up a storm around here.
Today she aspires to become a ballerina, a doctor and a mommy.
Last week, she wanted to be a pizza chef.
As a naturally social little creature, she is only truly in her element when she is surrounded by her swarms of pig-tailed compatriots.
She loves, and I mean LOVES to do homework.
I couldn't be happier for this stage and phase in her development. It is a joy to see her taking steps of independence.
Every day, I drop her off at school, and her teacher helps her out of the van.
She walks a few steps toward the classrooms, then suddenly stops as if she has remembered something important. She turns around and finds me watching her; smiles an eye-pinching grin; waves at me; and blows me a big, beauty-pageant kiss.
And I smile back and blow her a kiss too.
And though I adore the goofiness of this tradition of departure...my heart breaks just a tiny little bit every time I drive away.

2009 In Review

January meant about 600 miles logged on the van driving kiddos to practices, activities and games. Resolution for this year: Get to every game with a water bottle, equipment, and...oh yes, the right uniform on.



February was all about travel. Dad spent most of the month in Phoenix on business. An irony for someone who spent a good part of 2007 shuttling him to the airport in Phoenix so that he could work in Salt Lake City. We also made a trip to a niece's baby blessing, and to Disneyland as a family. At the end of the month, I joined Cory on his last trip to Phoenix to catch up with old friends and sunshine. Resolution for this year: Do not leave car keys on an airplane.





March was all about late snow...whining about late snow...running in the snow...taking off the snow tires before the snow was all gone...and Isaac's Indiana Jones birthday party. Resolution: Make peace with Mother Nature.

In April, we left Dad at home and went to visit my parents while the kids were off-track. For me..it was a chance to give up domestic responsibilities for a brief but very appreciated heartbeat. For the kids..it was a chance to play 372 games of pool. And I'm sitting here trying to remember even one small detail of the 8 hour drive there or the 8 hour drive back and coming up blank. I guess my sub-conscious is protecting me. Resolution: Go back again this April for my sister's wedding.

(One day in Sparks, Grandpa took us to a drive racecars..

Anna who is terrified to ride anything bigger than a tricycle,

was willing to let Zachary drive her around...quickly and erratically.)

In May my oldest turned 12 and I was called as the Ward Young Women's President in the same week. Both events have brought new joys to my life...and new meaning to the word "patience." Resolution: "Come what may...and love it"..or at least laugh at it.


June we pulled ourselves through the finish line of school, trial, and the Ragnar Relay. Zachary graduated from Elementary School, Anna graduated from pre-school (and turned 5), Cory spent a month working 18 hour days, and I ran another 30 hour relay marathon...all with varying degrees of success. Resolution: New shoes for everyone.


July was a blur...I hosted a family reunion, spent a night at girls' camp, attended the beautiful wedding of a high school friend in California, went to Youth Conference, sent my oldest away for a week at Scout Camp...and sprained my ankle. Resolution: Don't run faster than you have strength.

80 per cent of August was spent in a car. We drove to visit Grandma and Grandpa on their mission in Des Moines, Iowa and while there continued as far east as Nauvoo, Illinois. Resolution: Be grateful for the great time we had and remember all the great things we got to see, but never...ever do that again.

In September 3 out of 4 kids started at a new school. Resolution: Let the car-pooling begin!

October was once again filled with dance and sports. Every weekend meant 2 football games and 1 lacrosse game...usually all at the same time in different places...Luckily October weather compensated for the March fiasco. Resolution: Make kids learn to drive themselves to these things.

November brought Noah's double-digit birthday and the Harbertsons to Utah. It was a good time to take stock of our blessings. And to eat. Resolution: Eat less pie.

December was filled with the usual suspects of anticipation, frenzy, and vague threatenings. Oh, and stitches. I for one was strangely melancholy to see it all come to an end so quickly. Resolution: Less hustle, more humble.

Welcome 2010!