Our State Fair is a Great State Fair

When I planned this marathon trip back in the confines of winter, I had one thing on my agenda: the Iowa State Fair. There are, after all, not one but 2 musicals devoted to this event. This is America's Fair; the fairgrounds comprise an entire town. I feel it is the obligation of every patriotic American to shill out large amounts of money for greasy food and spotty rides.

So early on a Monday morning we found ourselves amidst the great unwashed masses (don't be offended, I'm referring to my children and the pigs...on second thought, the pigs were pretty clean).

I'm proud to say that I fully accomplished my agenda for the day:
1. Visit the barns
2. Eat a pork chop on a stick
3. Check out the winners of the Ugly Cake contest
4. Eat something deep-fried
5. Witness the famous marvel that is the butter cow
6. Eat cotton candy

I think it is very important to set and reach lofty goals.


Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for...will it be a Guernsey, a Holstein? This year's exhibit is the Jersey cow! I'm sure you all know that the Jersey is not as prolific a milk producer as other cows, but her milk has a very high cream content, making it perfect for ice cream, yogurt and cheese. This message was brought to you by the Iowa Dairy Farmers Association...thank you. (Please ignore my hair...I was fighting the war on humidity. I lost. Actually, I surrendered 20 minutes into our Midwest arrival.)

Once we made it through my formidable list of required activities, we were free to enjoy the rest of the unusually mild summer day. I asked the kids what their favorite things were at the end of the day, and of course they all said, "the rides." There's nothing quite like a $4 merry-go-round ride I guess. Although, I will say that the squeaky, rusty, tilting nature of all carnival rides does lend an aspect of daring rarely seen outside a demolition derby.

Zachary and Noah managed to survive the "Reign of Fire" without losing their deep-fried Snickers bar. It was touch and go there for about an hour.

But over-priced, under-inspected rides aside, there were some other highlights as well.

Anna loved the miniature horse show. She tried to convince me that they were small enough to keep in our backyard; we could just tell the neighbors that we got a new dog.

Isaac enjoyed the Wild West roping show we watched in the afternoon. He stayed afterwards to learn how to spin a lasso. He made a pretty respectable showing for a city kid.

Noah got up close and personal with a variety of animals...cows, pigs, horses...and camels... you know, just the standard farm breeds you come to expect in Iowa.

Zachary enjoyed the chance to practice the bored, unenthusiastic scowl of a teenager.

(Can I just say that my favorite part about this picture is the "do not touch" sign?)

Aunt Kim was worried the butter cow would be a let-down after all the hype, but luckily a cow carved entirely out of butter is totally able to meet all your expectations...and more!

I found myself surprisingly delighted with all the homemade food entries...you know...the pies and preserves. There were rows and rows and rows of different categories! It was all so wholesome...like stepping into the 1950s minus the poodle skirts. Sure wish I could have been on the tasting committee!

Cory fulfilled a life-long ambition of trying a deep-fried Twinkie. It was especially entertaining to listen to his arteries clog.

Grandma found the elusive Iowa State Fair, 2009 pin.

Grandpa ran into his missionaries and was able to get his picture with a giant, stuffed Spiderman.

All in all, a succesful outing.

So in conclusion...

Our State Fair is a great state fair
Don't Miss it don't even be late(state fair is great)
It's dollars to doughnuts at our state fair
It's the best state fair.. in our state

Winter Quarters

In the year 1846, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints were driven from their homes in Nauvoo, Illinois. Church leaders hoped to lead the people across the frontier to a new home in the Salt Lake valley of Utah where they would be free to follow the tenets of their faith without persecution. They had hoped to complete the trek in just 4 months; it took them that long just to cross Iowa. They gained permission to establish a temporary winter settlement for two years. This place--near current Omaha, Nebraska--became known as "Winter Quarters." The people, led by their faith worked quickly to construct hundreds of log cabins and sod homes. Despite their courage and efforts, the winter proved to be devastating to the weakened condition of many people. In the 2 years spent in this temporary staging area for the trek to Utah, over 325 people died from starvation and disease. Only a handful of families were left untouched by death.

To tour the Visitors' Center of this historic site was sobering. We struggled to fit my little family of 6 comfortably into a cabin erected in the center that would have been for twice that many people. My children giggled over their struggle to pull a handcart over some rocks. It was funny, but also revealing.

We briefly toured the cemetery and memorial outside the visitors' center. There were so many babies listed on that plaque. So many mothers. And now, that consecrated ground is shadowed by this...

The place where my faith teaches we can unite families beyond death.

Seems fitting.

Bear With Me..

I just got back from a 10 day vacation and I have a whole lotta traveling stories to purge..I mean journal. We traveled over 1200 miles so there's a lot of ground to cover. I think I'll shoot for one story every day until I make myself so sick of rehashing that I can let it go. But while the memories are fresh...

We decided to make the long trek to Des Moines, IA to visit the in-laws this year by car instead of plane. I had this brilliant idea that this would be a great chance to stop and visit all the wonderful church history sites between Salt Lake and Nauvoo. I failed to recognize that this "brilliant" plan meant 5 of the 10 days of our vacation would include a large amount of time in the car. Still, I decided to make the best of things by breaking up the trip a little. Which is what led us to...

The "Great River Road Archway Monument!"

This is a museum in Kearney, Nebraska built directly over I-80 that is dedicated to all eras of western migration. When you enter, the staff dressed in period costumes direct you up a long escalator to start your "tour." You wear headsets that play repeating broadcasts that change as you move throughout the rooms. What you hear depends on what mannequin display you happen to be standing near.

It was noisy, hokey, and mildly informative. I loved every second! This is classic Americana at its finest...Disneyland, eat your heart out!

Zachary cried when we had to leave.

So if you ever find yourself in "middle of nowhere," Nebraska. Don't let the chance to visit this little gem pass you by. It was worth every single penny!

It Turns Out I'm Not Getting More Patient

I've posted a lot in the last year about the changes in my home life as my children are growing up. It's strange how quickly and suddenly you can find yourself worrying more about your children's Internet habits than their toilet habits.

So as I get ready to embark on an empty household in September, I have found myself feeling older and wiser--one of those moms with sage advice for women still dealing with preschoolers and potty-training. I'm feeling more calm and patient every day.

And then I took the kids back to school shopping.

By myself.

All 4 of them.

At the same time.

I guess it's been a while since I went anywhere by myself with all of my offspring because I was caught completely by surprise when after 14 minutes of shopping I was ready to abandon every last one of them. Seriously. I looked in my purse to see if I had any paper with which to make "child for sale" signs. I could only come up with a crayon and a gum-wrapper. Dang.

Now just the day before I watched some poor lady at the grocery store wrestling 3 little boys...one was crying, one was fighting, and one was attempting to set the deli on fire. I chuckled to myself about boy how glad I am those days are behind me. Then I patted the 1 child who was with me and told them since they were being so good, the could pick out a candy bar.

I guess some people can humble themselves; I, on the other hand, much prefer being compelled to be humble.

So after 5 hours, 4 stores, 2 potty breaks (I guess you never really get a break from their toilet habits after all), and $450 we are nearly done. No one got a candy bar, although I did hear Zachary at one point telling his siblings to "act like little angels" in the next store in hopes of a reward. Alas, they misinterpreted his well-intentioned speech and behaved exactly like little angels of darkness.

So much for all my smug thoughts that I was really learning to be a more patient, careful, soft-spoken, and compassionate mother. I wonder if there were any moms of older children watching my spontaneously combustible family and chuckling to themselves about how they remember those days. If so, they better watch out. Karma is not a patient lady either.

How To Host A Family Reunion

Step 1: Choosing When to have the Family Reunion

Start looking for a date that will work for everyone in January.

In February, when only one person has gotten back to you about summer dates, send 143 emails and phone messages to pin down the rest of the family.

In March, just give up on some of these people ever getting back to you and go ahead and set a date.

Tell everyone the dates and location and give them 24 hours to respond before the site gets booked and paid for.

Now they will all get back to you.

Make another 487 phone calls and discover that your family is just way too busy for this to ever work.

Pick a date anyway.

Be prepared to hear a lot of moaning and complaining about this not being a convenient time. Ignore it and move to step 2.

Step 2: Pick a location

Camping sounds fun...fresh air, beautiful surroundings, communing with nature....$9 a person.

Internet search for group sites and choose one that will accomodate 23 people, 7 cars, is less than 30 minutes away from modern conveniences, has plumbed bathrooms, a firepit and is breath-takingly beautiful.

Do this all site unseen and cross your fingers that what looks good online looks good in person.


Phew!!

Step 3: Make assignments

Assign each family 1 meal and 1 activity. Be prepared for more complaining about convenience. Just smile and hold firm.

The food will be wonderful. Every family will pull out all the stops, and you will eat until you are sick. And as an added bonus, on your night for cooking your brother turns out to be a "foil dinner" control freak and will take over all of the work to make sure it gets done "right." Sit back, relax and eat up.

Step 4: Gather the family

If they're all gathering at your house...here's a piece of advice. Don't waste your time cleaning up before they get there.

Step 5: Pack

Set aside at least 12 hours for this step. Pack and load everything it might be conceivable you will need. After 12 hours, discover you need at least 3 more. Give up and just throw everything in the back of somebody's vehicle. Get up to camp and discover 14 things you forgot. Congratulate yourself for choosing a site only 10 miles from home.

Step 6: Set up Camp

2 schools of thought on this:
Method 1-Work together as a family...discover you may have too many chiefs and not enough Indians...after a little dysfunctional fun, manage to get a tent up and sleeping bags unrolled.

Method 2-Help unload all the gear to the site, put one person in charge, send everyone else on a hike.



Step 7: Social Director

Discover that everyone expects you to have every minute of this trip planned.

Go for hikes. (Drag your 60-year-old father up the side of a mountain to view a hidden alpine lake)

Plan easier hikes for the younger set. Drag them up a series of switchbacks to see another hidden alpine lake.
Prepare some campfire activities.

Set up crafts for the restless natives.

Bring lots of games and firewood. Lay in a supply of not-too-scary ghost stories.

Have a wonderful time! Come home and spend 3 weeks unearthing your demolished home and digging out from a mountain of laundry. Vow that next time someone else will be in charge.

Where I've Been and What I've Been Doing

Tie-dyed 65 first-graders' t-shirts...check.

Helped out in 3 field days...check, check and check.

Dragged my sixth-grader to the end-of-the-year finish line..complete with a successful country report...just barely.

Present and accounted for at said sixth-grader's awards assembly...check...sniff.

Welcomed all 23 members of my family into my home over the 4th of July weekend...check.

Fireworks in Provo...totally overrated, but check.

Cousin's baby's blessing...whoops...but I did make it for the potluck afterwards.

Spearheaded Frey Family reunion at campgrounds in Tanners Flat...check...worth every filthy piece of laundry!

Attended last day and night of Girls' Camp...check...although I think the term "camp" is being thrown around pretty loosely here.

Home, showered, packed and on a flight to Monterey, CA...check.

Attended wedding of high school friend, Jon Pabico...check...thanks for the mini high-school reunion, Jon!

Flew home from Monterey...flight cancelled.

Unplanned drive to San Francisco Airport...check.

Flew home from San Francisco...check...it was touch and go there at the end.

Welcomed both my sisters and their families to my house...check.

Started overwhelming task of digging out my house...check.

Emotional meltdown...check, check and check.

Cub Scout Day Camp...tomorrow and the next day.

Youth Conference...Thursday through Saturday.

Prepared mini-class for Youth Conference...yeah, right.

Relaxed and enjoyed summer "vacation".........................

When I Was Your Age

We spent a few hours working in our backyard this weekend. We didn't run out of work. In fact, we are likely less than 1/4 of our way through weeding alone. We didn't run out of time. It was the one and only Saturday of our entire summer that isn't already planned. We just ran out of room in the garbage can.

We also did not run out of character-building, back-breaking, whine-inducing labor for our children. Oh, how I love to torture them. And to make the time go faster, I found myself telling them, "when I was your age stories." You know the type...walked uphill 5 miles to school, was expected to be seen and not heard...your basic childhood fables. Imagine my surprise in discovering that I had actual real-life memories for the respective ages of all four of my children! Boy did that make me feel old. So I tried to choose my most vivid memory from each of their ages. This is what I came up with.

When I was 5 years old, I couldn't wait for my very first show and tell in Mrs. Ringer's a.m. Kindergarten class. Although I was painfully shy (I swear this part is not fabricated. Ask my parents if you don't believe me.) I eagerly anticipated the chance to show the Indian-head penny that my grandfather had given to me. In our class, on show and tell day, you put your items on the show and tell table at the beginning of the day. Then, in the afternoon, after naptime...(again I'm serious...I can't believe they took this out of the Kindergarten curriculum) our teacher would call children up one at a time to take their item from the table and share it with the class. As the grand event approached, I shyly (seriously!) raised my hand and waited my turn. Mrs. Ringer called on one child and then another and then another. Finally she called on a little boy who found his way to the show and tell table and then dawdled there for several minutes, fingering this item and that. Finally, after some coaxing from the teacher, he picked up my Indian-head penny, marched to the front of the class and told everyone some fascinating story about his penny! I was filled with rage and disappointment, but when Mrs. Ringer asked me if I had something to share, I was too submissive and quiet to stand up for myself, so with tears in my eyes, I told her no. At the end of the day, I picked up my penny and took it home, so at least the villain of the lie didn't go so far as to steal my penny...just my moment. And for nearly 30 years, that little boy got away with it...but today I will finally take back my right and name names. That's right, Aaron McClelland, I know who you are! And by the way, your show and tell story was so obviously contrived...you weren't fooling anyone!

When I was 7 years old we went to visit my cousins in Utah for the summer. I have a cousin who is exactly a month older than me, and although we were always good buddies when we saw each other, there was an edge of competition that tainted our every interaction. The first day at his house, we went outside where he grabbed his bike ready to ride the half block to his grandparents' home. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. I told him I didn't have a bike. He told me I could ride his sister's bike, and then in what I interpreted was a taunting manner asked, "You know how to ride a two-wheeler don't you?" Ooh, the challenge in his tone! Well of course I told him I could ride a bike...never mind the fact that I had never up until that moment been able to ride a two-wheeler in my life. He was NOT getting the best of me. He wheeled the bike around, I climbed on...and took off down the road with an air of nonchalance...even boredom. I guess I can pinpoint my competitive streak and stubborn nature to this exchange. I rode bikes with him that whole week. The only down side was that I never got to show off to my parents, "hey, look, guys! I'm riding a bike!" because such a display would undermine my whole triumph.

When I was 9 years old, I saved the quarter my mom put into my lunch for milk money every day. Then at the end of the week when I had 5 quarters, I would walk down to the 7-11 at the end of our street and use my $1.25 to buy 3 candy bars. I don't know what part of this memory is the most disturbing...the fact that I basically stole money from my parents every day or that I walked down a busy street to a convenience store completely by myself at the age of 9.

When I was 12 years old, my mom picked me up from school early on my birthday. As a surprise, she drove me to a beauty salon to get my ears pierced. The lady at the shop showed me a basket of different stud earrings to choose from for the piercing, and I really wanted the diamond ones. However, my older sister had gotten diamond earrings when she had her ears pierced and I knew that she would somehow lord it over me if I chose them. Besides, at this age I hated having the same things as everyone else around me...I wanted my own thing...so instead I just grabbed a random pair out of the basket. They turned out to be topaz which I hated. I didn't like orange at all, but for the next 6 weeks, I wore them and swore to anyone who might question my selection how much I loved topaz. The day I could change my earrings for the first time, I took the topaz studs out and never wore them again. As I remember this, I can't really verbalize my reasoning for this life choice...I just sense that there was a feeling of self-sacrifice implicit in it somehow. Weird, huh?

Anyway, for what their worth, the stories got us through 2 hours of weeding. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my college textbook on psychoanalysis. It appears I'm completely neurotic.