On-line Performance

Last night, I caught a television interview with author Sherry Turkle who has written a book titled, Alone Together all about the alienating aspects of technology. Now let me be clear, that I was watching "The Colbert Report" and not CNN, but despite the satirical "interview" and "anything-for-a-laugh" antics of the host, something of what she said penetrated. I have had my own concerns about our technology-driven social environment for some time. As I work with the young women in my ward, I find it humorous but also a little worrisome that they will ignore their ringing cell phones if I try to call them, but will "text" me at lightning speed no matter the time of day. And as we have switched from receiving the newspaper on our porch to reading it off the internet, I have to forcibly ignore the comments that appear at the end of every article. No matter how innocuous the subject of a story may be, it is amazing how people--protected by cyber-anonymity--will twist it into something against which they need to make a vitriolic stand. But the thing that Turkle said last night that has really stuck with me, is that our internet-selves are really just a performance of our real selves. When we post on Facebook or Twitter, it is meant to be a witty and condensed "perfect" version of our real and imperfect life. When we blog our life experiences, the real experience is polished, reviewed, and edited for effect. And keeping this "performance self" up is ultimately emotionally exhausting.

Then today, as I was following one of my "cyber-friends" I came across a link to another woman's blog. This woman is a self-proclaimed feminist, atheist but the point of her "article" on this online magazine was that she finds herself addicted to a number of "mormon mommy blogs." In her self-analysis of why that might be, she pointed out a lot that I have noticed about many of these blogs. The families portrayed in them are perfect...beautiful children, warm and loving husband, homes that look ready to be photographed for a catalog, mothers who spend their days making adorable crafts and home-baked treats. Ultimately, although she condescended to point out that it's true that mormon women have a high regard for and feel fulfilled by their role as wife and mother, she also alluded to this sense of a "performance life" via blogs.

So it has gotten me thinking about my own internet interaction. I think this idea of a "performance self" rings true to me at a certain level. I only post my "status" on Facebook when I have something funny or clever to say. And I appreciate the irony of the fact that I'm sitting here blogging about this of all subjects instead of say, picking up the telephone and talking to a real live person. I'm certain that on the whole, my blog contains the positive spin on my day to day life. I think that's all right...the positive side is no less real than the moments of frustration, dullness, and stupidity. Is it healthier to rant and complain and leave nasty comments at the end of other people's rantings or to try to point out the good side of things? On the other hand, I do see a dangerous tendency in myself as I follow on-line accounts of my "almost-friends" to look at their shiny, perfect lives and feel I am somehow falling short, forgetting that these people are trying to highlight the best of things too.

I know that in my last entry, I made a point about using this blog as a means of family journaling. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write about this topic, but it feels like an attempt at clarity? honesty? I'm not sure.

In other news, my warm and loving husband recently was made a partner. My children have been doing nothing but saying sweet and charming things around the house these days, and we had the best time this weekend making homemade pretzels and beautiful drawings to hang around the house. There, I hope that fills the requirement.

Resolutions..Take Two

We had our annual Resolution Family Home Evening this week, and as I thought about what I would try to do better this year in our "academic" area, I knew I had to focus on the blog. I have been so busy in the last year that my writing efforts have been sorely lacking. Obviously the blog has become less of a priority to me, and I have been trying to figure out why. I think I am trying too hard to make it "literary" instead of just journaling the events of my family's life which was the purpose when I started. Also, losing my camera in August somehow has made it harder for me to get going with entries, as if my journal is somehow incomplete without photographic evidence. But enough with it already...I got a new camera for Christmas and I will stop thinking I have to "craft essays" and just record the mundane and glorious details of our day to day family events. So I decided that a reasonable and attainable goal for me this year will be to update the blog at least twice every month. Here's to turning over new leaves, putting a best foot forward, try, try again and all that jazz.

I'll start with a quick update about the Talbot family holidays 2010..

This year we went to St. George for Thanksgiving...the first time in 11 years that I didn't cook the dinner. I LOVE Thanksgiving, and I really do enjoy cooking, but I have to say it was such a nice thing to wake up on Thursday, get in the car, drive for four hours, and walk into an already prepared feast. I did go as far as to make three pies early in the week with my cousin's two oldest daughters, but that was the full extent of my cooking contribution.

We had a nice, relaxing couple of days down south with family...we were hoping for warm but somehow managed to pack the cold Salt Lake temperatures into our luggage and bring them with us.

The first week of December danced us through a tornado of All Nutcracker, all the time. Anna participated in the Children's Nutcracker for her third year in a row, this time in the role of "Gingerell." With two dress rehearsals and three performances there was little time for anything else in the week and the boys were woefully neglected. However, the performance was darling as usual and even Grandma and Grandpa Talbot were able to drive up from Panguitch to attend. Anna was in her element and after the first night when I went to pick her up backstage after the performance, I asked her how it was. She said, "I couldn't stop smiling the whole time I was here!" I've embedded the video of her dress rehearsal here:



Week two brought the 2nd Annual Egg-nog tasting party, Christmas piano camp, Book Club white elephant party, a cookie exchange, a huge history fair project for Zachary to finish, the Ward Christmas Party, and The Stake Christmas Concert. All events had a varying level of success: here's what I learned:

• After adding fudge to the egg nog tasting, I gave up on moderating my sugar content in December and it was just downhill from there.
• Six hours of group piano lessons in one week might be a bit too much for little boys who have been in school for 7 hours already.
• What is exchanged at book club, stays at book club.
• After the cookie exchange I asked the question, "is it possible to become diabetic in just 4 days?"
• If you'd like to check out Zachary's finished web page, here's the link: 18322336.nhd.weebly.com/
• At the ward Christmas party, the Young Women were asked to contribute an "act" so we did a dance that included my kickline debut. Eat your heart out, Rockettes!
• I sang "Away in a Manger" at the Stake concert...nobody cried.

Week three was a race to finish two reports for Isaac, make an igloo out of sugar cubes, help in 3 class parties (Did I mention I signed up to be headroom parent in Isaac's class this year?), and have family come stay with us from St. George to attend the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert with David Archuleta. The concert was awesome! And although my older boys did at times read the books they had brought with them during the "boring" songs, they enjoyed it as well. Oh..and the Ward Christmas Sacrament Meeting where I sang one solo, 3 choir numbers, one small ensemble, and a duet. Don't worry, a lot of other people sang and performed as well.

Luckily, the kids were finally out of school the last week of the month. Vacation was a mixture of sleeping in, going to movies, hanging out at home, playing with new Christmas gifts, and eating..a lot!

Christmas Eve we went ice skating again and fortunately this year we didn't end up with anyone in stitches. Isaac was our most improved skater this year, and Anna least. Last year she loved when Cory and I would skate her fast around the rink, but this year she thought we were too fast and kept trying to sit down on the ice to slow us down.

Nobody changed out of their pajamas on Christmas Day and most of the kids didn't quite find the time to play with all their gifts by the end of the day, so I would call that a success.

Cory worked intermittently the week after Christmas and it was nice to have him home so much. Last year on our anniversary, I made reservations at a nice Italian Restaurant downtown. Cory was flying home from San Francisco that day. His flight was delayed, and I had to cancel the reservation. This year I made a reservation at the same Italian place. Then a blizzard forced us to cancel the reservation again. Next year, I think we will try a new place.

New Years' Eve we stayed at home with Aunt Kim and played games and ate snacks. It was mostly good, but proved to be a mistake to let two of our children stay up all the way until midnight. I won't name names, but next year we will do things a little differently.

The kids are all back to school now, and although I was a little sad to have our relaxing break end, they all seem happy to be back in their more structured routines.

Phew! There's one entry down..only 23 to go!