On-line Performance

Last night, I caught a television interview with author Sherry Turkle who has written a book titled, Alone Together all about the alienating aspects of technology. Now let me be clear, that I was watching "The Colbert Report" and not CNN, but despite the satirical "interview" and "anything-for-a-laugh" antics of the host, something of what she said penetrated. I have had my own concerns about our technology-driven social environment for some time. As I work with the young women in my ward, I find it humorous but also a little worrisome that they will ignore their ringing cell phones if I try to call them, but will "text" me at lightning speed no matter the time of day. And as we have switched from receiving the newspaper on our porch to reading it off the internet, I have to forcibly ignore the comments that appear at the end of every article. No matter how innocuous the subject of a story may be, it is amazing how people--protected by cyber-anonymity--will twist it into something against which they need to make a vitriolic stand. But the thing that Turkle said last night that has really stuck with me, is that our internet-selves are really just a performance of our real selves. When we post on Facebook or Twitter, it is meant to be a witty and condensed "perfect" version of our real and imperfect life. When we blog our life experiences, the real experience is polished, reviewed, and edited for effect. And keeping this "performance self" up is ultimately emotionally exhausting.

Then today, as I was following one of my "cyber-friends" I came across a link to another woman's blog. This woman is a self-proclaimed feminist, atheist but the point of her "article" on this online magazine was that she finds herself addicted to a number of "mormon mommy blogs." In her self-analysis of why that might be, she pointed out a lot that I have noticed about many of these blogs. The families portrayed in them are perfect...beautiful children, warm and loving husband, homes that look ready to be photographed for a catalog, mothers who spend their days making adorable crafts and home-baked treats. Ultimately, although she condescended to point out that it's true that mormon women have a high regard for and feel fulfilled by their role as wife and mother, she also alluded to this sense of a "performance life" via blogs.

So it has gotten me thinking about my own internet interaction. I think this idea of a "performance self" rings true to me at a certain level. I only post my "status" on Facebook when I have something funny or clever to say. And I appreciate the irony of the fact that I'm sitting here blogging about this of all subjects instead of say, picking up the telephone and talking to a real live person. I'm certain that on the whole, my blog contains the positive spin on my day to day life. I think that's all right...the positive side is no less real than the moments of frustration, dullness, and stupidity. Is it healthier to rant and complain and leave nasty comments at the end of other people's rantings or to try to point out the good side of things? On the other hand, I do see a dangerous tendency in myself as I follow on-line accounts of my "almost-friends" to look at their shiny, perfect lives and feel I am somehow falling short, forgetting that these people are trying to highlight the best of things too.

I know that in my last entry, I made a point about using this blog as a means of family journaling. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write about this topic, but it feels like an attempt at clarity? honesty? I'm not sure.

In other news, my warm and loving husband recently was made a partner. My children have been doing nothing but saying sweet and charming things around the house these days, and we had the best time this weekend making homemade pretzels and beautiful drawings to hang around the house. There, I hope that fills the requirement.