Pinewood Derby

Last week was our annual Cub Scout Pinewood Derby. For anyone who has never had the privilege of participating in this boyhood rite of passage, I am here to tell you what you are missing.

1. 1 month to get the car finished, and yet 99.9 percent of the work gets done the night before.

2. Blowdryers running right up until the minute we leave to dry the paint job.

3. 8-year-olds executing feats of engineering around the level of the average M.I.T. student.

4. Fathers insisting that their scout really did most of the work themselves.

5. 30 families crammed around a 20 foot race track.

6. 30 dads discussing the finer points of "bracket-ology."

7. And the noise, oh the noise!

8. 250 lectures...MOM: You need to be a good sport even if you win/lose

9. WINNING CUB SCOUT: niener, niener, niener

10. LOSING CUB SCOUT: tears

11. 2 hours of chaos and pandemonium in order to watch your son's car race exactly twice for a total of 7 seconds.

12. Awards Ceremony..every car gets a certificate..even if it means awarding a prize for "most creative use of duct tape."

13. After the hours of work, and the meaningful award, car and certificate have disappeared--never to be seen again--within 24 hours.

14. Next year we get to make 2 cars.

What will I do when all my little cub scouts are grown? There's nothing quite like the spectacle of grown men competing vicariously through their sons. Despite the madness of the event, I really will miss this someday.