Photo Catch Up

I keep waiting to get Cory's pictures so that I can post the events of the last few months, but it's not happening, so I will at least post the pictures that I have and try to download his eventually. Maybe when my kids have all graduated from college.

Cory turned 38! on October 15th this year, but unfortunately was out of town on a Partnership retreat and had to celebrate with us late this year.


In October, I took the kids to visit Grandma and Grandpa in Panguitch during their Fall Break. We hiked in Bryce Canyon and Anna turned out to be an enthusiastic hiker! No one was more surprised by this turn of events than Anna.


For Halloween this year, Anna wore an adorable Rapunzel costume made by Grandma Talbot. The frying pan was a hit on the trick or treat route, although we were careful not to let her actually hit anyone with it.

Isaac was a dementor from Harry Potter. He has been obsessed with the series over the last few months and is finishing the last book right now.
















Noah had the coolest idea for a costume this year...he went as Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris jokes are all the rage right now, so I thought this was clever.


Zachary stayed home and gave out candy, but he did help us carve our jack-o-lanterns!


In November, Noah turned 12! He got to go on a special trip with Dad to Sea World where they took lots of pictures and had a wonderful time. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures to show you here.

A week later Cory had surgery to repair his achilles tendon. Again, we have some cool pictures on Cory's phone, but maybe it's better for the squeamish if I don't post them on my blog.

We hosted Cory's parents, sister, and a friend for Thanksgiving. I made 10 pies! (2 chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream, mixed berry, blackberry sour cream, crumb-top apple, pumpkin, sweet potato, and lemon meringe) I'm pretty sure we will not have that many pies ever again.
Our other big family news is that on the day before his surgery, Cory was called to serve as the 1st Counselor in our Bishopric. This will mean some big changes for our family...and hopefully some blessings too.

Anna is once again participating in the Children's Nutcracker this weekend. This year she is in 2 dances...she's a soldier and a Chinese dancer.



We are looking forward to the holiday here, and enjoying the time we have to spend together!

Cathartic Journaling

Back in the way long ago of my intention to write more consistently in my blog, I talked about an essay about journal writing. It was a really fun discussion about different styles and forms of writing, written by a Louise Plummer for a class she was teaching about different methods of expressing yourself in your journal to make it more interesting to read. I think it's time to investigate suggestion number two...cathartic writing.

Cathartic writing is basically a form of venting on paper. It's blowing off steam or exposing your frustration or challenges in an unapologetic way.

Boy would that make a blog more interesting to read.

Maybe a little too interesting

Here goes...

I have had it with the geniuses who peddle junk to my kids in the checkout line of every grocery store in America! Who thought it would be a good idea to put candy at eye level with toddlers? I want to take that Market Research moron on a shopping trip with me someday. He can push the cart and try to keep track of my wandering, bickering, complaining children while narrowing down the best deals on chicken thighs, enchilada sauce, and fabric softener. Then he can escort one of those kids to the bathroom because they have to go RIGHT NOW and come back to find that a well-meaning employee has now put away all the items you painstakingly had placed in your cart before the unscheduled break. Then he can find a way to satisfy the tastes of 4 different children as you make your cereal selection. While he stands in an endless line of carts waiting for a turn to explain the different headlines your curious 1st grader is asking about from the cover of this month's "Cosmo," I think I will sit and watch while I luxuriously drink a carbonated beverage. I will play a game where I tally the number of times he has tell one of my children "No, you can't buy that!" The final count will be the number of times he will be required to now load all the groceries into my car, and unload and put them away at my house.

There, that feels better.

What I did last summer

Summer oh summer where have you gone?
The shorts and the flip-flops we no more can don.
With events crowded in from beginning to end,
It seemed you flew by my old fair-weathered friend.

In June I spent two weeks driving down to the Y
For Zachary's math camp, where he learned about pi...
And bubbles and code-breaking, and his Rubik's cube,
Welcome alternative to surfing You-tube.

There were things going on with the rest of my crew...
Cub Camp, ballet, track...to name just a few.
And Zachary enjoyed Provo and campus a lot,
So he tried EFY and was spiritually taught.

The first week of July I was in charge of Girls' Camp.
Which meant giggling and staying up late with a lamp.
We went for an imaginary trip on a boat,
And came back with testimonies, crafts, and good quotes.


Just in time to get ready for Pioneer Trek,
Where "Pa" Cory prevented a tragic cart wreck.
From rugged Rocky Ridge to quiet Martin's Cove,
The lessons we learned are worth a true treasure trove.




Back home we were busy with more summer fun.
Camp-outs, river rafting, shooting a gun.
Even Anna got into the firearm drama,
Shooting targets, (or trying to) with Grandpa and Grandma.



I made a dash South with some girls from my book group,
To catch "The Bard's" plays performed by an acting troupe.
Although Richard III was my favorite play yet,
I also truly enjoyed Romeo and Juliet.


We snuck in a quick Frey Family retreat.
To see cousins play nicely together was sweet.
We did Tahoe, water slides, and a 3-legged race,
Not to mention smashing an egg on my face.






Now we're well on our way into a new school year.
My head's filled up with schedules and plans ear to ear.
I've neglected my blog in a scandalous way,
But my life is so full with both work and with play.

There you are dear sister...I hope this satisfies the requirement.

Journaling

I recently read a collection of essays by writer Louise Plummer, titled "Thoughts of a Grasshopper." They are delightful...funny, uplifting...a boost of positive thought and energy. One of the essays is a talk she once gave about writing journals. She talked about a number of different approaches to use in journal writing. I was completely motivated and decided I will try to implement some of her ideas on my blog, starting today.

Her first style of journaling was "description." This is my typical writing style...I describe a vacation, a day, a life experience. She recommended describing the types of things your posterity would love to know about you someday.

Here goes...

My first memory:

We have been at an evening swimming party. I remember Mom and Dad and older sister Larissa there, but not my baby brother who I assume would have been around somewhere. I have spent most of the evening sitting on the very top step of what I remember being the pool of someone from church. I am timidly splashing the couple of inches of depth. Every once in a while, Dad carries me out into the bigger, deeper areas of the pool and I am equally parts thrilled and terrified. My more adventurous sister seems to be everywhere at once. Eventually the party winds down and I am fascinated watching a rolling, tarp-like cover stretch out across all that blue. Mom has dressed me in a green jumper with enormous pockets and is now distracted...I think with a barbecue or one of my siblings. I stand at the edge of the covered pool as my curiosity flows. Finally, I leap into the air and land on the pool cover only to discover I am sinking. I don't have enough time to feel any fear because in a matter of seconds, someone pulls me out and I have only had time enough to wet the pants of the green jumper. I am in the bathroom with my mom who is soothing and drying me simultaneously.

This memory is so vivid in my mind, but I still am not one hundred percent it really happened or was just a dream. I have asked my parents about it, and they say it sounds vaguely familiar, but can't fully corroborate. If my facts are right, I would have been 3 years old at the time...the memory is so full of clear detail that I think it must have really happened.

Pioneer Teenagers Sang? As They Walked

I'm back, but only briefly...I'm gearing up for Trek next week where, with the help of my husband, "Pa," I will shepherd my family of youth across the plains and ridges of Wyoming. I think it will be fun. This is one of those youth activities that falls perfectly within my mantra, "I can do hard things."

Here's our Pioneer Trek experience by the numbers:

8: The number of youth ages 14-18 who make up our "family"...3 boys, 5 girls.
11: The number of buckets that will be loaded into the handcart that we'll work together pushing and pulling along the National Historic trail, Rocky Ridge, and Rock Creek Hollow.
36: The number of miles we'll cover on foot in 3 days.
98: The number of pages in the notebook/guide/journal given to all 400 participants of the Trek...so if nothing else, we're covered for toilet paper and firewood.
6: The number of times I have run to Wal-Mart this week to "pick up a couple more things for Trek" even though I was officially packed last Saturday.
52: The number of neck coolers I have sewn this week only to find out that the forecast for next week is predicting cool temperatures.
15: The number of pioneer skirts I have made or helped make in the past month.
1000: Roughly the number of dollars I have spent outfitting Zachary, Cory, myself, and my Ma and Pa bucket for this event.
12: The number of months our stake has been having planning meetings to prepare for our 3 day excursion.
3: The number of weeks the real Martin and Willie handcart companies spent preparing for their 1300 mile journey...including building many of their handcarts.
11: The number of first aid kits within a 3 foot radius that will be available at any given time.
5 1/2: The number of hours we will be traveling on buses next Tuesday beginning at 5 a.m.
11: The number of catered meals we will be enjoying during our week...just like the real pioneers. (Are we talking about a re-creation of the experience or recreation? hmmmm...)
6: The number of miles Cory says it will take to walk the "whine" out of our teenagers.
20: The number of times I will laugh at Cory during the Wednesday night "hoedown."
9: The average number of hours we will be walking day 2 and day 3.
6289: The number of times we will have to answer the question "How much farther?"
1500: The number of pages of preparation reading we were assigned.
1100: The number of pages I actually read. (Hey...I still have 4 days!)

So why do we do this all? Why do we spend a vast amount of money, time, stress, and volunteer hours to pull this off?

200: The number of lives sacrificed in the Willie and Martin handcart companies so that a posterity could enjoy the blessings of worship free from persecution. We're here because they believed.

This blog has been temporarily suspended..

by all things Girls Camp. Please check back in two weeks as we return to normally scheduled programming.

Thank you.

Summer, Help Me!

I am not a fan of the month of May. Take a look at my desk calendar and you'll understand why. Now keep in mind that I don't write down everything on this calendar...things that are part of our weekly habit don't show up...like Mutual, Scouts, ballet, piano, or Lacrosse practice. Everything on this calendar is EXTRA. Dance recitals, awards assemblies, class parties, field trips, PTA recognition, school programs, field days, make-up games, etc. Most days for the last two weeks we have had at least 4 things going on in the evening, and most days I have had 2-3 places to be as well. So you can imagine my relief when May 31st rolled around and I could turn the page on the desk calendar.

Unfortunately, this is what I discovered when I turned that page...


It's going to be a very short summer. All of my friends are worrying about bored kids and not enough structure. Not me...I'm praying for boredom.

And since it's that time of the year...here is the annual Spring Ballet recital post. This is actually dress rehearsal, so it's a little rusty, but you get the idea. Also, I had to borrow Noah's camera since mine is STILL in the shop. It turns out that every camera part known to man is produced in a factory in Japan that was damaged in the earthquake so will be back-ordered for the next 27 months or something like that.

Independence Day

I have never been a mother who craves needy, mommy-reliant children. I love, love, love infants with their downy heads and smells. I always loved that moment in each of my four babies' lives when I came to their cribs in the middle of the night and they recognized ME with a look of pure and trusting adoration. I even found it amusing in late baby months when they would all go through that stage where everyone but Mommy is a bad guy...even Daddy.

But! I have always been a great believer in the cutting of apron strings. From toddler-hood I have always tried to expect and teach my toddling protege the things that chubby hands and legs can do for themselves. I have designed chore charts and study schedules and cooking lessons. I expect everyone in my house from 1st grade up to make their own lunch, school-day or no.

And yet! As I am embarking on teenage full throttle, it seems their dependence on me is increasing instead of waning. Some days I feel crushed by the weight of expectancy. No one can seem to get ready for school in the morning without incessant reminding. Homework, chores, and piano practicing seem every day to be a novel and unexpected suggestion. Minutes ago, our carpool showed up to taxi the younger two to school and had to wait for Anna whom I discovered in her room just pulling on pants after being sent up to get dressed 25 minutes ago. She wears a uniform...getting dressed for her means: open bottom drawer, pull out navy skirt or pants and white shirt! If something is lost, it's my responsibility to find it. If they get to school without their lunch/homework/coat I can depend on an urgent and demanding phone call.

Now keep in mind that I am no helicopter parent! Nine times out of ten, when I get that emergency phone call, my response is: "That's too bad, I guess you're going to have to stay in at recess today...or turn it in late...or beg your friends to share their lunches with you."

I think I always imagined that once I got past the baby/toddler stage, things would run more smoothly, effectively, efficiently. I would say, "Go upstairs and brush and floss your teeth," and magically, ten minutes later-mission accomplished! Despite my expectation, instruction, and nagging, I have managed to turn out four exceptionally needy human beings. And for some reason, in the past several weeks, this has become an eat-me-alive kind of problem.

So I was pouring my heart out today in prayer when I suddenly realized the irony of my words. Because how could I expect to turn to a parent to assist me with my needs when I resented the petitions my children are consistently directing to me? I think tomorrow, I need to dig deep for a well of patience and gentleness and truly make the effort to enjoy the un-snipped apron strings for a little longer.

Hotel Talbot

I haven't journaled anything in a long time, but I have something of an excuse...this week will mark the 8th weekend in a row when we either have had family staying with us here or we have gone out of town.

Week 1: Carrie-anne, Ryan and their kids joined us for the weekend while their kids were off on Spring Break. I pulled my younger kids out of school one day to spend a morning at the Tracy Aviary and Liberty Park. It was a good time but oh so cold! This year has been the year of no spring. We had a nice dinner out at The Cheesecake Factory...just grown-ups...to belatedly celebrate Ryan's birthday.

Week 2: Grandma Talbot bunked with Anna for a couple of nights while she finalized the cleaning and closing of their once home in Sandy. It was the end of an era as the house Cory lived in his entire childhood and youth was sold!

Week 3: Double the Grandparents! My parents and Cory's parents both spent a weekend with us in order to attend Mission Reunions. My folks were able to extend their stay through Wednesday which was fun until I came down with strep throat. Probably had something to do with the late nights and delicious but less than nutritious food we ate all weekend.

Week 4: The day after my parents left, Larissa, Nathan and their 5 kiddos stopped for the last two nights of their week-long Utah excursion. It was great to see them, but they got the back end of my illness and had to work around an 11-year-old scout campout in the back yard.

Week 5: Another brief appearance of Grandma and Grandpa Talbot as they dropped in up north for a wedding.

Week 6: Our Spring Break coincided with my sister's sealing in the Reno Temple so I courageously packed the kids to my parent's house where we met up with Karla and her foursome as well. It was a mixture of chaos and meaningful memories. We went to Boomtown, hung out and TALKED, and had a beautiful day in the temple. My mom kindly housed 8 children and their mothers and the dads joined us at the end of the week. The only major disasters were a teenage, end-of-week meltdown, and an expired temple recommend.

Week 7: All the sisters-in-law and the mother-in-law came north for a "sisters weekend." Carrie-anne ended up bringing her family along as well. The kids and dads played while all the girls enjoyed a much needed respite from responsibility. We watched "Sheer Luck Holmes" at Desert Star playhouse, went shopping, checked out Kim's new pad, went out to dinner, shopped some more, and caught a late movie. It was wonderful even though my mom hours kicked in just as the movie was beginning. I'm not a kid anymore it turns out.

Week 8: Ma and Pa Talbot have more wedding weekend plans coming up, so we will look forward to seeing them this weekend. After that? As much fun as it has been, I think I might just hang a "No Vacancy" sign for a little while.

Rules For Grown-ups

I have been reading a book in the last week called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. While ultimately, I find that I have not loved the book because it's a little self-righteous, insecure, and inconsistent, I have found some little nuggets of ideas from the book that have managed to stick in my conscious and unconscious mind. One of them comes right from the start of the book. The author makes a list of "rules of adulthood" or things that she has figured out as an adult that were not always self-evident to her younger self. Among them are things like..."Ibuprofen really does help a headache go away, so just take it." And my favorite, "No one should ever begin a sentence with the words 'No offense, but..." I figured that since I'm 35 now, surely I must have figured out some of my own rules of adulthood.

Here is what I have come up with:

-In a group, the pickiest eater should always choose the restaurant.
-Not everyone has to like you.
-Don't "yuck" somebody's "yum" (Meaning, if sushi, classical music, or hang-gliding aren't your things, it doesn't mean the person who does like them is stupid or crazy.)
-If it takes less than a minute to put something away...just put it away.
-I am a work in progress.
-So is everyone else.
-Never get into a serious discussion when you're tired or hungry.
-Siblings are the only people in your life who totally and completely "get it."
-A nice email/note/Facebook update really does make you feel good.
-White shirts and toddlers just don't mix.
-Be 100% loyal to your spouse.
-If you haven't worn it in more than a year, just get rid of it already.
-Your life will be a lot less stressful if you give people the benefit of the doubt.
-It's okay to say "No" sometimes.
-If you're always too busy to help out a friend, it's probably time to cut something out.
-Don't ever let anyone take a picture of you in a bathing suit.

That's it for now...I'll add to the list as grow up a little more.

Isaac Turns 9

I am suffering my second camera catastrophe in less than a year. I was getting ready to download my most recent pictures from my brand new Christmas present camera this morning, and I somehow managed to completely strip the place where the USB port enters the camera. So no pictures from Isaac's school patriotic program...no pictures from his birthday...no pictures from the Where's Waldo activity our youth participated in last week.

I'm feeling glum...and frustrated...and angry...and hungry...but that's because it's Fast Sunday. Anyway, I decided that I can't fall back into the old trap of thinking I can no longer blog without photo evidence so I am trying on a positive attitude and if I manage to get the camera fixed, I can always add the pictures to the post later, right?

Last week Isaac turned 9. We had a party with 9 of his friends at Planet Play. Basically this is an establishment that is the crossroads between the baby-ish "Chuck E Cheese" and the obnoxious teenage hangout "Boondocks." Although I know it's less expensive to throw parties from home, you have to love the ability to let someone else do all the work of entertaining 10 feral boys. Isaac is a mild, good-natured, cheerful boy...but let's face it...Laser Tag is a far more appealing "boy cage" than pin the tail on the Donkey.

Sunday was Isaac's actual birthday, so we focused on celebrating together as a family. I have decided this year that I want to implement more family traditions, and one idea I had was to make a "birthday poster" for our family members on their special days. I made it and Anna helped me decorate it, and then I asked every family member to write a special message on it for Isaac. I could tell that it meant a lot to him to read kind words from his sometimes taciturn and teasing older brothers. We hung the poster up in the kitchen and have left it up all week.

After church, Isaac requested a special dinner of "make your own pizzas." We had aunt Kim and some friends from the ward over and loaded on all of Isaac's favorite toppings. Usually when we do pizza, I make salad to go with it. As most people know, Isaac would rather eat a fried worm than a piece of lettuce, so for an added birthday treat, we dispensed with his nemesis. My children all have rather refined palates when it comes to treats, so Isaac had requested his birthday candles be ignited on individual "Molten, Chocolate, Lava Cakes." We spent the evening playing games, watching Veggie Tales, and hanging out. All in all, a satisfying weekend.

Deja vu

I felt the need to re-post this entry this morning for some reason.

Ode to a Utah Spring

Birthday Blues

I turned 35 over the weekend. I had relatively low expectations set for the day. I wanted to 1-exercise, 2-use my Valentine's gift certificate for the spa, 3-eat good Thai food, and 4-go to a movie.

1-I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to go for a run. I got dressed, hydrated, geared up, walked out the front door and discovered it was snowing. Plan B was to go to the gym once the kids were all at school. Unfortunately both the carpools we're a part of had conflicts and had asked me to drive for them. This meant that I had to drop off Anna and Isaac at 8:00. The middle school has late-start on Fridays so Zachary needed to be dropped off at 9:00. The elementary school has early-release so they needed to be picked up at 1:00, and then I had to go back for Zachary at 3:00. In the few hours that I wasn't driving kids back and forth, I had to find a birthday gift for the party Isaac was invited to, look for a a replacement jacket for Noah, and drop off a forgotten lunch. No gym.

2-And no time to go to the spa.

3-Early in the week Cory did a thorough internet search for the best Thai food in Salt Lake City. He sent me various menus and locations, and we finally decided on a spot. He called the restaurant to make a reservation, but they told him they were small and didn't take reservations. They assured him they would be able to fit our whole family in on Friday evening when we showed up. To accomodate our movie time, we needed to do dinner by 6:00 and since the restaurant was downtown, Cory suggested I drive the kids over and meet him there. Thirty minutes of traffic and bickering later we parked a block away, trudged over and discovered the place was no more than a pick-up cafeteria with 6 chairs. Since 2 of them were taken, this meant either find a plan B or eat standing up. I can just imagine that whoever took Cory's call about "placing a reservation" earlier in the week must have thought this guy was totally crazy. Since we were downtown, we decided to try out "Thaifoon," an Asian chain that we'd heard good things about. Friday night downtown, meant that we waited 30 minutes before finally finding a seat and another half hour before we got any food. This began the "tears rolling down my face" portion of the evening. By this time, I was so tired and hungry and disappointed that I just couldn't hold the frustration in any longer. Anna seemed very concerned, and the boys a little uncomfortable, but finally after a trip to the bathroom and a good nose-blowing, I actually felt a little better. The food was over-priced, un-authentic, and really salty.

4-By this time, we had to hustle to have enough time to get the kids home and to bed and back to the movie theater for an 8:45 showing. We had to sacrifice Cory's plan to pick up an ice-cream birthday cake. Fortunately we made it about halfway through the opening previews of "True Grit." I have to say, I wasn't that sure about a western, but I ended up really enjoying it. It was darkly funny...(Let's just say the movie opens with a comical hanging scene.) ..just what I needed to end my own comedy of errors.

5-I finally made myself a birthday cake two days later.

I know this post comes across as whiney and I should probably have just put a cheerful face on and been more grateful, but I truly do want to remember the events of the day now that I can laugh about them.

Better luck next year.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Cory:

the good--He survived a full week being both Mom and Dad while I went to help my mom out after surgery. The house might not have been sparkling clean, and one or two homework assignments may have missed the refining touch of a mother's supervision, but everyone was fed and clothed when I got home. He is finishing up the season as Zachary's basketball coach where he has done a great job. He also has kicked into P90X gear once again and has been steadily losing weight and bulking up muscle. Drat..I guess that means I better get up and go to the gym now.

the bad--Cory lost a cousin in a tragic industrial accident a few weeks ago. Cory was able to drive out to Eastern Utah with his father and sister for the funeral and see many family members he hasn't talked to in years. Rest in peace Cody McMullin.

Cami:

the good--In spite of the fact that my trip to Sparks was facilitated by my mom's emergency hystorectomy, it was a pleasure to spend a quiet week with her and my dad. I was glad that my children are old enough to be left fairly easy and that my husband was at a place in his work where he could sacrifice the time to be at home with them when they got home from school. I also got to spend some memorable moments with all of my siblings except one while I was staying in Nevada. I LOVE my brothers and sisters! It has taken the better part of a week and a half to get my Utah life back in order, but spending the time away has helped me better prioritize my home life and to appreciate my own dear little family.

the bad--My mom's surgery led to the discovery of uterine cancer. However, last week she got the good news that there was not cancer in the lymph nodes which means she will not have to have chemotherapy or radiation and has a very slim chance of any recurrence.

Zachary:

the good--He made it to the Countdown Round of the Chapter Math Counts competition and will most likely be moving on to state. He'll find out for sure at the end of the month. He was called as the Deacons Quorum President and is showing tremendous responsibility in this new calling. It is great to see him take this duty so seriously.

the bad--Between my distraction with my trip and an exceptionally busy holiday season, Zachary found his grades in a few classes crash and burn in the last quarter. Hopefully, this is a chance to learn from mistakes and recommit to finding better organizational strategies.

Noah:

the good--He continues to be a self-motivated, commited student, piano player, and basketball player. We have seen him really shine on his basketball team this season and finally find the competitive drive that lives up to his height and natural athletic ability. He has been working harder than any of the boys on preparing for their March piano assessment and his talent is blossoming.

the bad--Noah procrastinated his Science Fair project until I got back from my trip and discovered we only had a couple of days to pull it all together. After a stressful race to the finish, he pulled it off and got it up and displayed. Then of course, I totally blew it and forgot to go to the school for the actual presentation. The day after all of this stress, Noah casually mentioned to me that the Science Fair was a completely optional assignment!

Isaac:

the good--Isaac has finally found the books that have turned him into a hungry reader! He discovered that he really likes Fablehaven and it is great to see him reading for the pure joy of it for the first time. He also was excited to drive down to St. George with me, Noah, and Isaac to see his cousin Emily get baptized. Cory and Zachary couldn't join us because it was the same day as Zachary's math competition.

the bad--The night before the baptism while staying in St. George, Isaac started throwing up..so we managed to expose 5 different families to a stomach virus.

Anna:

the good--Our little budding artist won in her division for the school Art Express competition. She also independently wrote special Valentine's notes to every member of the family. They were so thoughtful and sweet...she truly is my best example of being kind and loving.

the bad--Anna loves reading and we have recently discovered that she has been staying up a little too late at night to finish books. This has meant a few cranky, hard-to-get-out-of bed mornings.

And now for the ugly...

On-line Performance

Last night, I caught a television interview with author Sherry Turkle who has written a book titled, Alone Together all about the alienating aspects of technology. Now let me be clear, that I was watching "The Colbert Report" and not CNN, but despite the satirical "interview" and "anything-for-a-laugh" antics of the host, something of what she said penetrated. I have had my own concerns about our technology-driven social environment for some time. As I work with the young women in my ward, I find it humorous but also a little worrisome that they will ignore their ringing cell phones if I try to call them, but will "text" me at lightning speed no matter the time of day. And as we have switched from receiving the newspaper on our porch to reading it off the internet, I have to forcibly ignore the comments that appear at the end of every article. No matter how innocuous the subject of a story may be, it is amazing how people--protected by cyber-anonymity--will twist it into something against which they need to make a vitriolic stand. But the thing that Turkle said last night that has really stuck with me, is that our internet-selves are really just a performance of our real selves. When we post on Facebook or Twitter, it is meant to be a witty and condensed "perfect" version of our real and imperfect life. When we blog our life experiences, the real experience is polished, reviewed, and edited for effect. And keeping this "performance self" up is ultimately emotionally exhausting.

Then today, as I was following one of my "cyber-friends" I came across a link to another woman's blog. This woman is a self-proclaimed feminist, atheist but the point of her "article" on this online magazine was that she finds herself addicted to a number of "mormon mommy blogs." In her self-analysis of why that might be, she pointed out a lot that I have noticed about many of these blogs. The families portrayed in them are perfect...beautiful children, warm and loving husband, homes that look ready to be photographed for a catalog, mothers who spend their days making adorable crafts and home-baked treats. Ultimately, although she condescended to point out that it's true that mormon women have a high regard for and feel fulfilled by their role as wife and mother, she also alluded to this sense of a "performance life" via blogs.

So it has gotten me thinking about my own internet interaction. I think this idea of a "performance self" rings true to me at a certain level. I only post my "status" on Facebook when I have something funny or clever to say. And I appreciate the irony of the fact that I'm sitting here blogging about this of all subjects instead of say, picking up the telephone and talking to a real live person. I'm certain that on the whole, my blog contains the positive spin on my day to day life. I think that's all right...the positive side is no less real than the moments of frustration, dullness, and stupidity. Is it healthier to rant and complain and leave nasty comments at the end of other people's rantings or to try to point out the good side of things? On the other hand, I do see a dangerous tendency in myself as I follow on-line accounts of my "almost-friends" to look at their shiny, perfect lives and feel I am somehow falling short, forgetting that these people are trying to highlight the best of things too.

I know that in my last entry, I made a point about using this blog as a means of family journaling. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write about this topic, but it feels like an attempt at clarity? honesty? I'm not sure.

In other news, my warm and loving husband recently was made a partner. My children have been doing nothing but saying sweet and charming things around the house these days, and we had the best time this weekend making homemade pretzels and beautiful drawings to hang around the house. There, I hope that fills the requirement.

Resolutions..Take Two

We had our annual Resolution Family Home Evening this week, and as I thought about what I would try to do better this year in our "academic" area, I knew I had to focus on the blog. I have been so busy in the last year that my writing efforts have been sorely lacking. Obviously the blog has become less of a priority to me, and I have been trying to figure out why. I think I am trying too hard to make it "literary" instead of just journaling the events of my family's life which was the purpose when I started. Also, losing my camera in August somehow has made it harder for me to get going with entries, as if my journal is somehow incomplete without photographic evidence. But enough with it already...I got a new camera for Christmas and I will stop thinking I have to "craft essays" and just record the mundane and glorious details of our day to day family events. So I decided that a reasonable and attainable goal for me this year will be to update the blog at least twice every month. Here's to turning over new leaves, putting a best foot forward, try, try again and all that jazz.

I'll start with a quick update about the Talbot family holidays 2010..

This year we went to St. George for Thanksgiving...the first time in 11 years that I didn't cook the dinner. I LOVE Thanksgiving, and I really do enjoy cooking, but I have to say it was such a nice thing to wake up on Thursday, get in the car, drive for four hours, and walk into an already prepared feast. I did go as far as to make three pies early in the week with my cousin's two oldest daughters, but that was the full extent of my cooking contribution.

We had a nice, relaxing couple of days down south with family...we were hoping for warm but somehow managed to pack the cold Salt Lake temperatures into our luggage and bring them with us.

The first week of December danced us through a tornado of All Nutcracker, all the time. Anna participated in the Children's Nutcracker for her third year in a row, this time in the role of "Gingerell." With two dress rehearsals and three performances there was little time for anything else in the week and the boys were woefully neglected. However, the performance was darling as usual and even Grandma and Grandpa Talbot were able to drive up from Panguitch to attend. Anna was in her element and after the first night when I went to pick her up backstage after the performance, I asked her how it was. She said, "I couldn't stop smiling the whole time I was here!" I've embedded the video of her dress rehearsal here:



Week two brought the 2nd Annual Egg-nog tasting party, Christmas piano camp, Book Club white elephant party, a cookie exchange, a huge history fair project for Zachary to finish, the Ward Christmas Party, and The Stake Christmas Concert. All events had a varying level of success: here's what I learned:

• After adding fudge to the egg nog tasting, I gave up on moderating my sugar content in December and it was just downhill from there.
• Six hours of group piano lessons in one week might be a bit too much for little boys who have been in school for 7 hours already.
• What is exchanged at book club, stays at book club.
• After the cookie exchange I asked the question, "is it possible to become diabetic in just 4 days?"
• If you'd like to check out Zachary's finished web page, here's the link: 18322336.nhd.weebly.com/
• At the ward Christmas party, the Young Women were asked to contribute an "act" so we did a dance that included my kickline debut. Eat your heart out, Rockettes!
• I sang "Away in a Manger" at the Stake concert...nobody cried.

Week three was a race to finish two reports for Isaac, make an igloo out of sugar cubes, help in 3 class parties (Did I mention I signed up to be headroom parent in Isaac's class this year?), and have family come stay with us from St. George to attend the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert with David Archuleta. The concert was awesome! And although my older boys did at times read the books they had brought with them during the "boring" songs, they enjoyed it as well. Oh..and the Ward Christmas Sacrament Meeting where I sang one solo, 3 choir numbers, one small ensemble, and a duet. Don't worry, a lot of other people sang and performed as well.

Luckily, the kids were finally out of school the last week of the month. Vacation was a mixture of sleeping in, going to movies, hanging out at home, playing with new Christmas gifts, and eating..a lot!

Christmas Eve we went ice skating again and fortunately this year we didn't end up with anyone in stitches. Isaac was our most improved skater this year, and Anna least. Last year she loved when Cory and I would skate her fast around the rink, but this year she thought we were too fast and kept trying to sit down on the ice to slow us down.

Nobody changed out of their pajamas on Christmas Day and most of the kids didn't quite find the time to play with all their gifts by the end of the day, so I would call that a success.

Cory worked intermittently the week after Christmas and it was nice to have him home so much. Last year on our anniversary, I made reservations at a nice Italian Restaurant downtown. Cory was flying home from San Francisco that day. His flight was delayed, and I had to cancel the reservation. This year I made a reservation at the same Italian place. Then a blizzard forced us to cancel the reservation again. Next year, I think we will try a new place.

New Years' Eve we stayed at home with Aunt Kim and played games and ate snacks. It was mostly good, but proved to be a mistake to let two of our children stay up all the way until midnight. I won't name names, but next year we will do things a little differently.

The kids are all back to school now, and although I was a little sad to have our relaxing break end, they all seem happy to be back in their more structured routines.

Phew! There's one entry down..only 23 to go!